Feeling all feelings is a must for emotional wellbeing and healthy relationships, but we're so used to suppress them, where to start??

We learn to suppress our feelings because public displays of emotions can be perceived as a weakness, especially when they get "out of control".

But the reality is, we are emotional beings. Feeling feelings is the only way to experience, live, and love. For one, self love is impossible without feeling it. Without self love we cannot have healthy relationships with others, cannot practice self care, our emotional wellbeing is certain to deteriorate. When we don't feel our feelings we end up depressed, withdrawn, checked out.

Think about another natural phenomenal all humans have to endure: peeing. Peeing in public is probably grosser than "losing it". Yet, we are not afraid of uncontrollably peeing in public, are we? We do not suppress our peeing, do we?!

Why not?? It's because we've been potty trained! We've trained the muscle that can hold it, we are confident about it, and comfortable with it. We know how to use it, we can even gauge how long we can hold it for, and pee only when it's OK to do so. Imagine if we were never trained, but taught to "stuff it" instead?? How would that work out?!

Why such a different approach with feelings? Wouldn't it be more natural to train ourselves to feel feelings to be more comfortable and confident with our emotions?

Ok, let's say you agree. Now, how ow to train your feeling muscle?

The first step to it is to honor your feelings. Everything you feel is a gift.

There are no good or bad feelings. There are feelings that "got bad press", according GP Walsh in his book Tao of Allowing, the only book about the Law of Attraction that made sense to me.

The second step is to start training your feeling muscle. I have a couple of suggestions:
- Practice with simple stuff. Like feel what the surface of your cellphone is like to the touch.
- Observe your feelings. You are feeling all the time, whether or not you acknowledge it, so you might as well practice awareness.
- Ask yourself "how am I feeling?" throughout the day.
- Become an obsessed observer of your feelings. Journal them.

As you train your feeling muscle you will notice that your "feeling system" flows much better. You are aware of the emotions that pass through you throughout the day. You will become much more comfortable with your feelings, and suddenly you will notice that they are "under control"!

The third step is to take responsibility for your feelings.

During an argument with your partner or boss, recognize your feelings. Speak in "feeling" messages, like my favorite coach Rori Raye teaches. E.g. "I feel disappointed", "I feel discouraged", "I feel betrayed". It removes perception of an "attack", and opens the other person to hearing you.

Feel all of your feelings and watch your emotional health improve!