Worrying and depressing during the pandemic happens so naturally. Dark thoughts creep up through the alarming articles, TV and the instagram.

I know, because I used to be a queen of worrying and depressing myself. Until I committed to rewire my baseline paradigm to trust and joy. I still feel heavy emotions come up and catch spasms of worry go through my body. The difference is that now I don't buy into any of it. Even though I am the one feeling it, I don't take it at face value.

I remind myself that I am the boss [in my psyche lol], I tell myself "everything is for the best" (sometimes like a 100 times until I feel the shift), I observe what is, and I apply the hacks I am about to share with you.

(i) Shift your perspective! A friend once shared his go-to trick for getting out of depressive thoughts with me, let me pass it on. He said "there is no way you can be depressed once you see how wondrous the world around us is". For example, he said, take a look at the most mundane thing in your apartment. He gave an example of the piano bench in his apartment. It was plain and mass produced.

Now, he said, imagine what is going on that surface, that top veneer layer, zoom into it. Just think how many microorganisms, bacteria, dust specks, air molecules and surface atoms are interacting with each other right now. They are creating a complex and busy universe moving constantly and in perfect harmony in that microcosm of the desk surface. Isn't that wondrous?! He said he could watch his bench for hours at a time.

Now, zoom out to our galaxy and the space. The same wondrous universe is unfolding there, with us taking the place of the specks. How awesome is that?! The same wondrous universe is constantly unfolding inside our bodies. Our bodies are hosts to around 3 pounds of microorganisms and viruses living in our gut at all times. These microorganisms, the microbiome, are invaluable to our healthy digestion, immune system, and hormones. Without us even noticing they are playing a perfectly orchestrated symphony of metabolism for many decades, how magical is that? Our bodies are perfect respiratory, sexual, thinking and moving machines. We are all supermen! How can one be depressed sitting on a "lamborghini" of such a biological miracle?! Forgive me if it was a bit too graphic with the 3 pounds of bacteria, but I hope you get the point. We are magical! Once you see how magical you are you cannot be depressed or worried, trust me!

The reason we get depressed/worried is because we are letting our brains run the show. Since our society is so brain driven, we've been conditioned to identify with our brain. Whatever our brain farts out at us, we take very seriously. Our brain analyzes the shit around us and produces a verdict "I am f*cked", or compares us against the more successful peers and concludes "I am not good enough". And we, we totally take it as if it were the ultimate truth. We are not suspicious of those verdicts in the slightest. If we listen closely, those verdicts come packaged in the voices of our parents, elementary school teachers, exes, bosses or nasty colleagues. We take those at face value and get depressed, because if we are not good enough, it's not fixable or overcomeable. This is it, we are f*cked indeed.

(ii) Tune into the Love FM! The good news is that our brain is not the whole of us. It is not the boss of us and we can tell it off. We have other parts like our heart that's just as important. While our brain seems to be stuck on the Shit FM, our heart is securely anchored to the Love FM. So when the brain says "the future is dark", "my life is a mess", "I am not happy", "I cannot take this anymore", we should tell our brain "I love you and respect you. I've achieved what I've achieved thanks to you. But I am bigger than you. I am the boss here." And then gently put the heart into the driver seat and catch that Love FM!

Try it right now! Put your hand on your heart and feel it beating, feel the love it emanates, ever so subtly. You will recognize it — it's the same feeling as you feel when you look at a cat or a dog, hear your favorite song, get a call from a lover, or share a joke with the best friend. The beauty is that even none of that is happening, you have everything to feel that love right there right now.

This is because you are the one who felt it at all those times. The feeling gadget is inside you. It is not external! By recalling those moments or creating the new ones, or by simply sitting with yourself in silence, with your hand on your heart, you can tune into that Love FM. And that's when the miracle happens. The moment you tune into the Love FM, you feel happy, complete, and relaxed. Did you know that our brain cannot tell the difference between a real experience and an imagined one?? When we are having an imaginary magical moment, the brain generates dopamine the same as if it were real.

As soon as you relax and feel happy, your perspective shifts. The world is not as depressing any more, and it becomes apparent that you have been sweating the "little stuff". You move on.

(iii) Intend to be happy! Let me share something I've realized 10 years ago. We have EVERYTHING to be happy RIGHT NOW. That's because happiness is not a function of anything external. Whether our colleagues, clients or bosses are good people or assholes, whether our partners love and cherish us or make us feel "less than", whether our bank accounts burst with cash or we are in a perpetual "insufficient balance" mode, we have everything to feel happy right now. We do not need "another year to grind" or "that big check" or anything whatsoever. The only necessary component to happiness is our intention. When we set intention to feel happy, we tell our brain to shut up (respectfully), tune into the Love FM and enjoy.

(iv) Turn on that feeling machine! One cool trick that I came up with a few years ago was to feel "in love" on my own. I was sitting in my apartment in New York worrying and depressing about not having a love in my life. I really missed that feeling of being in love: the butterflies in my stomach, that awesome feeling of excitement and thrill and exhilarating joy. Suddenly, I had an epiphany: "wait a second, yes that last guy certainly triggered those awesome feelings in me. But I was the one who felt them, wasn't I?!" I started trying to recreate those feelings, one by one. It was weird and awkward at first, but within fifteen minutes I felt on top of the world, I swear! It was the most liberating, kick-ass moment of my adulthood. I no longer depended on anyone to feel the butterflies in my stomach. I could feel it on my own! Because I am the one with the heart, the Love FM, and the feeling machine. I can generate the most amazing feeling of love in myself on demand. Wow. I felt like a rockstar. And when I did, a miracle happened. I forgot all about worrying and depressing! Once we focus on beautiful uplifting feelings we become relaxed. As soon as we relax, our perspective shifts, and the world's problems don't seem so daunting any more, we feel empowered and free.

(v) Do the little things you love! One hack I've been using to override my brain is doing the little things I love. For me it's dancing, singing, and laughing. Do one little thing you love right after you read this. Do not worry that it cannot possibly outweigh the gruesomeness of the worldwide pandemic, just do it. I promise that in 15 minutes you will forget about the virus and the world will be a better place. Just like that!

(vi) Do the forgiveness exercise! Another tool I find extremely useful is detoxing from grudges and regrets, i.e. forgiveness. I write "I forgive so and so for this and that" and "I forgive myself for this and that" until my hand hurts. Even when I feel like I cannot remember anything else, I keep writing. When I run out of stuff I simply write "I forgive everybody for everything they have done to hurt me, even the people I cannot remember right now" and "I forgive myself for all the things I cannot recall at the moment, I forgive myself for every mistake I made". Then I ceremoniously burn the paper. I do it at least once a year. It's soooo helpful, please do it asap.

(vii) Journal your inner voices! One more awesome writing exercise is journaling your inner voices. I've been tortured by the inner voices my entire life. You know how they show inner voices in the movies, and they are generally positive ones, more or less? Mine were not like that. Mine were nasty. I'd criticize myself for everything! Then one day I got fed up and decided to get clarity on who is saying what in my head. Don't laugh, I decided to organize my inner voices! I am aware that I probably should be institutionalized just for admitting I hear voices in my head, but trust me it helped!! It gave me the peace of mind I could not dream of before. So here is how I did it.

I started writing down every voice I noticed. I made it into a game "catch a new voice". Sort of became an investigative journalist of my own mind. Once I found a new voice I named it, struck up a conversation with it, got to know it. I asked it what or who it represented, and what its story was. For example, I identified a critical voice. The voice that always told me that I was not good enough, not funny enough, not beautiful enough, not successful enough, not happy enough — you get the drift, it never stopped. Once I caught that voice, I observed it for a while without judgement (a friendly attitude to your inner voices is important, because aggression and animosity can spook them into silence and you won't get your answers).

After listening to it attentively for a while I realized that it spoke with my mom's voice. Surprise surprise. I started a conversation with that voice. I asked the voice in my head "what do you want to be called?", it said: "Veronica". "Why do you judge me so harshly, what is your story?" and listened. Turned out, "Veronica" wanted to make sure that I had my mother's love by meeting her expectations. It loved me very much, and that's why it was working so hard to improve me, make me better. I told the voice "look, I appreciate your effort, and I can feel your love. But that stuff you say to me hurts my feelings and lowers my self-esteem. Can you be nicer to me? Can you focus on my strengths? Notice my victories? Can you be supportive??"


Basically, I negotiated new boundaries with "Veronica", and we became friends. I wrote all of that down. Slowly but surely I noticed that I became kinder to myself. I did the same for every new voice I identified. The voice of a perfectionist, a bully, a scared girl. Making friends with all those voices was one of my biggest achievements of the last decade. I highly recommend you try. I know you have voices too. Take time to get to know them, hear their story, and negotiate new rules. Remember, you are bigger than any of them, you are the boss, just like with the brain.

(viii) Celebrate small victories! An important practice to complement the journaling is celebrating the small victories. I started keeping a journal of every little thing I got right. The journal would probably seem totally ridiculous and pathetic to anybody reading it. I celebrated a successful call to USPS, getting out of bed, getting into bed — there was no victory too small to be included. There is a method to this madness. I am sure you've heard of it before. It boosts our self-esteem, because believe it or not our self-esteem is pumped most effectively by our own recognition. Yes!! Whenever we say to ourselves "good job", it goes a long way, even if the achievement is nothing to write home about. Accumulating these approvals boosts our self-confidence more effectively than any shrink or a new lover. Trust me, I've done it. It seems so straightforward that we think we don't have to write it down. We do. That's the trick, actually do it. Write every tiny victory down, keep the journaling up. Soon you will notice the difference, I promise.

(ix) Count your blessings! The last thing for today is giving grace. Say thank you, even if you do not feel like it. When you feel the depressing feelings creeping up on you, start reciting all the things you are grateful for. Thank for your bubbly personality, your sense of humor, your beautiful face, thank for all the friends you have, and if you don't have any get creative. Gratitude and forgiveness are two most powerful tools for lifting ourselves up. Tried and tested. Guaranteed results.

Try whatever resonates the most and lmk how it went. Remember, nobody can do it FOR you. The silver lining is that you are in complete control of how you feel! The moment you get sick of being depressed and worried you can lift yourself up. I love you very much.