The following is a transcript of my recent session (October 16th, 2020) with Carole Louie (CL), a fellow hypnotherapy student at the HCH Institute, and a long time practitioner. Carole is a published author, currently working on her third book about her past life experiences.

Carole used the technique called "deep memory". It is used to find and integrate disowned parts of our psyche. We worked with anxiety I felt in my solar plexus.

(i highlighted the start of the "story" as well as the "lessons" with bold text for your convenience).

CL (facilitator): So let's begin by taking a couple of deep breaths, Nice deep cleansing breaths, open, whatever feels right to you.

And now allow your breathing to fall into a natural rhythm. And once you find your natural rhythm, focus on the inhale and the exhale of each breath, follow the breath as it flows in and out of your body. And when your mind begins to wander, bring your attention back to the gentle rhythm of your breathing. Again, following the breath in and out of your body, by focusing on the natural rhythm of your breathing and this way you will both relax your body and help focus your mind.

Continue to be aware of your breathing, And now bring your attention to your ankles, your lower legs, your knees, and your thighs. Be aware of any tension that you're holding and these muscles and release the tension on the out-breath allowing your body to become more and more relaxed as you sit comfortably. Now bring your attention to your abdomen. Notice any tension that you're holding in your lower body and release it on the exhale. Feel your body completely supported by your chair. Now continue to be aware of your breathing and bring your attention to your spine. Feeling the relaxation, moving up your back. As you allow the muscles around your spine to relax, letting go of the tension in your muscles, feel your back supported by your chair.

Continue to follow your breath and bring your attention to your torso and to your navel. Feel the relaxation moving through your stomach and your chest. Allowing those muscles to relax, letting go of any tension with the exhale.

And now bring your attention to your upper back and your shoulders release any tension with your exhale, feeling those muscles relaxing and letting go on the next in breath. Feel relaxation, move into your hands and your fingers. And you might feel a slight tingling sensation. As you bring awareness to your body,

Relax your hands up, your arms, your shoulders, your torso, your abdomen, your legs, and your feet.

Now feel relaxation. Move into your neck and your throat to your cheeks, your face, your islands, even your scalp. Now your whole body is more relaxed. Yeah. Well, using your imagination. Imagine a beam of light and energy above you. A radiant, loving, light, and energy from above. What color light do you see or sense, champagne? What a lovely color. Now invite this champagne light to pour over you bathing your whole body, not just outwardly, but also inwardly making you feel more expansive. Imagine this light and energy surrounding your body, creating a cocoon of light and energy all around you, and just know that you are safe and protected within this field of light and energy that naturally surrounds you at all times in just a moment, I'm going to count from one to 10, you will be in your own deep, natural state of relaxation, where you can easily remember experiences from your present life. From the time before you were born. And from other lifetimes that you have lived on earth, only those memories that are helpful to you now in understanding the deep origins of your anxiety will emerge. So not only will you have a deeper understanding of the origins of these thoughts and feelings, but you will also be able to release any thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations that are from the past and no longer serve you in the present.

So you will live more freely, more creatively and fulfill your life's purpose. I will begin to count now one, two, three with every breath you're feeling more and more relaxed, four, five, six with every breath you're feeling more and more relaxed. Seven, eight, nine, allowing your higher self to guide you. As we reached the number 10. Now, as I say these words: "I feel anxiety because…" feel in the sentence.

EA: I feel anxiety because I don't have income.

CL: And now when you say those words and say them three times and pay attention to where in your body, you feel the tension of those words say that first solar in my solar plexus [inaudible] okay.

EA: solar plexus.

CL: To the left of it. So when the left of your solar classes, you feel the tension. And as you are aware of the tension in your solar plexus on a scale of one to 10 using the SUDs scale, what number do you feel that tension?

EA: Seven.

CL: Seven. Okay. So let's begin. First of all, by honoring the tension that you're feeling. Honoring that which is coming up to speak to you, to help you understand yourself deeper. And so we want to thank it ahead of time.

So imagine that it is like a friend sitting across the room from you and your friend is anxious. And because your friend is anxious, it has a feeling of tension in its stomach. And so before we even begin, let us hold the energy for this friend. Let's create a bridge of light between your solar plexus and the solar plexus of your friend that embodies this anxiety. And remember the champagne light that you based your body with. Now send that champagne light on this bridge of light to the solar plexus of your friend. And notice if your friend is open to receive that light, or if it just sits around her, what do you experience? She's open. Good.

And can you describe what she looks like?

EA: like me.

CL: And what age does she look like?

EA: Same age as me.

CL: Okay. So continue to send that champagne light to the Elena across from you, who has joined us for this session. And now from that place where you experienced the most unconditional love, let love join that rainbow bridge of light. Now, what do you experience with her?

EA: I feel her pain.

CL: Is she open to receive the loving energy?

EA: Yes.

CL: So have her talk to you about what her pain feels like just as I had you say, "I feel anxiety because…" listen to her thoughts as she completes a sentence, "I feel pain because…"

EA: I feel pain because I am nothing. Nothing as in "nothing good".

CL:

And so know that at some point in time, even before this time period, There was a feeling of nothingness. And so begin to breathe into that. I am nothing. I am nothing and allow whatever comes to mind to come up for you, allow it to carry you across the time space, continuum, to where it needs to go.

And what do you experience?

***
EA: I was maybe four or five years old, attending the kindergarten and we had a mandatory afternoon nap. And I could never sleep. So this one time, the teachers, both of them, snatched me out of bed for not sleeping. I didn't manage to pretend that I'm sleeping well enough. So they punished me. Although I was lying in my bed quietly, they snatched me out of bed, yelled at me, dragged me out of the bedroom into the classroom, and made me sleep on the chairs in the classroom for disobeying the nap order.

CL: And were you sitting in the chair or stretched out over the chair? Stretched out? Was it one chair or more?

EA: It was several kids chairs, wooden chairs.It was like four or five chairs in a row.

CL: And where you face up or face down?

EA: face up.

CL: And so you're stretched out on these chairs, punished by the teachers. What is little Elena feeling in that moment?

EA: Scared, ashamed, violated, unjustly punished, humiliated, exposed.

CL: You're feeling all of these feelings and it has to be horrific for a four or five year old to be feeling all of these feelings. So ashamed, so violated. So exposed. How are you feeling towards the teachers?

EA: Scared. Unsafe. Angry.

CL: And is there anyone there that you feel comfortable enough to share your feelings or is that part of the experience not being able to share?

EA: Yes. It's for everybody to see me and understand that it is what's going to happen to them if they disobey.

CL: So you were also being made an example. Oh my goodness. And even just remembering that can bring up all of those feelings again, can't it. And you know, it's very possible that something in the recent time has triggered the memories of this experience. So because it wants you to come back to it, to readdress it, to heal that little Elena.

And even though you did not have a teacher who supported you, who was compassionate to you in that experience, when you were in kindergarten, you can take that whole experience and recreate it.

So imagine that little Elena, even though she's going through that experience, that you can now be a compassionate teacher for her, someone that she knows, that she trusts, that she is aware of, even if on an energetic level in her mind's eye, you can be there for her. Would you like to do that? Good.

So as a compassionate teacher, what would you like to say to a little Elena when, when she's sleeping on the chairs. No one else can see her, but little Elena can see you, the compassionate teacher, she can hear your voice and your thoughts and feel your unconditional love for her. So just talk with her and say what you would like to say to her, and then we'll take it another level. What would you say?

EA: I would say it's okay. I'm here. They're just as lost as you are. The teachers. They know not what they're doing. That's how they were treated. It's not against you. That's how they deal with their own inner children. It has no reflection on you and you are beautiful and perfect. Even if you disobey.

And even if you break the rules, that's a testament to your wholeness that doesn't fit into the box of their expectations. You did nothing wrong. You were just being, you were just being yourself.

CL: And now observe as little Elena hears those words and feels the truth of those words. No matter what the other teachers have said to her, no matter what the other teachers have done to her, she feels the truth of the compassionate teacher. And what does little Elena do?

EA: She's lying on the chairs.

CL: It's uncomfortable. How does she feel? She hears the words of the compassionate teacher. How does she feel?

EA: Stronger. Cause she found that's what she was being punished for is her differences.

She was being punished for her single mindedness, for having a will of her own.

CL: Right. That's the part that we're here today to retrieve to integrate. And so let's put that scene on pause for just a moment and just like in a movie we can rewind and go back in time. Let's rewind a little bit and go back to when it was nap time. And all the children were told to lie down on their beds, and to close their eyes and take their nap. And now see little Elena lying down, allow her to close her eyes. And instead of pretending that she's asleep, allow her to envision where she's going, who she's going to become, what she wants to do with her life. Even though she's only four or five years old in a chronological sense. We know that from a soul perspective, she knows so much more. So from little Elena's higher self, let the vision of her future begin to unfold for her, like a movie behind her eyes. And what does she imagine?

EA: She's helping children. And she's smiling. Children want to play with her. She's giving them the confidence to be the light that they are.

CL: What is she doing that she's helping the children? When, what is she doing?

EA: She's playing with them, feeding them. It's some sort of school or the house for the orphans.

CL: And in the scene that you're seeing, is it daylight or is it nighttime?

EA: Daylight.

CL: And are they on a playground or are they inside?

EA: inside.

CL: And so in this school and you said it was for orphans, is it colorful? Is it decorated? Can you describe that room?

EA: It's a simple spacious room.

CL: And are there many children?

EA: Yeah, like about 12.

CL: And are they boys and girls?

EA: Yeah. And they're black. Most of them.

CL: Do you know what country they're in?

EA: Ghana.

CL: And are the children dressed clean and well?

EA: yes. They are happy.

CL: So let's imagine that suddenly the room where you're teaching the children is more colorful. Did you have everything that you needed to provide for them, to nourish their spirits? And now tell me what is in the room that has changed?

EA: joy. There's joy. Joy fills the room and fills everybody.

CL: And how does that joy in the room feel to you personally?

EA: Kind of makes me feel sad because I'm not there because it's so far away

CL: But remember this is in your conscious awareness. So allow your consciousness to take you into that body of Elena, taking care of the children, being present to the children. In fact, so present that you've created joy that all of these children can experience, maybe for the first time in their lives. So embody that feeling of creating the joy.

EA: It feels good. It feels very empowering and it's as if the joy creates more energy in me.

CL: Not only more energy for them, but more energy for you. Good. Now, as you feel that joy, that empowerment and that energy, that it is because in this experience, even though it seems like it's only in your mind, that is how we begin to create in our physical world. And so call in all of those energies into you in this moment right here. And you might even begin by saying, I feel empowered. I feel empowered. I feel joy. I feel joy and I feel full of energy. I feel full of energy. And now allow that school scene to just kind of disappear. And as it disappears, all of a sudden you find yourself in a sanctuary.

What kind of sanctuary do you see or experience?

EA: It's a temple. An Egyptian temple in Abydos.

CL: Are there are many symbols in the temple?

EA: Yeah.

CL: What kind of symbols do you see? There are all kinds of engravings on the walls.

CL: Can you read them, translate them in your conscious awareness?

EA: I see the keys of life. So it's the energy or Life, Creativity and Fertility.

CL: That's wonderful just by looking at those symbols of life and creativity and fatality, it helps you connect with those energies. It sort of recharges your batteries. It goes into your psyche.

Every time you'd look at those symbols. It's one of the reasons why Egyptians covered the walls with so many decorations and not just Egyptians, but many other cultures as well. But for some reason, your soul guides you to this Egyptian temple. And so on a crevice in the wall, there are many, many scarabs. So touch each one of those scarabs, just touch it lightly, sending it loving energy. And know that each one of those scarabs represents those teachers in your old past, those teachers who were also treated badly and those teachers' teachers, and anyone who treated them badly.

I know that another one of the scarabs is the children who are also with you in that classroom, because witnessing how you were treated, affected them as well. And so send same loving energy to all of them. And to all the children who were witnesses to your teachers' mistreatment - many, many layers. Our actions affect so many people.

CL: You have been given the gift to reach across time and space to help heal. Not only yourself, not only little Elena, but also all those teachers, all those children.All beings who have been abused and who have abused.

All beings who have not treated one another with loving kindness and who have not been treated with loving kindness and compassion. So as you touch each one of those scarabs, you just see it lit up. And what happens as you touch it with love.

EA: They become golden light. They become highlighted from the inside out by the golden light.

CL: And if you want to invite them to become alive and fly off And share their golden light with others.

Now in this sacred sanctuary, A teacher or guide comes to you, who is now your higher teacher or a guide to help you understand the lessons that you were learning from all of those experiences. How that those lessons can help you be even more compassionate with yourself and others, more uplifting, more empowering. So listen closely, or just know what your guide and teacher wants to share with you.

EA: It's okay to be yourself.

CL: Isn't that wonderful. That's the same message that you gave little Elena, and now he's saying it to you. Can, is there anything else that he wants to share with you?

EA: Nobody can touch your light. Nobody can cut it off.

Anything that light comes in touch with becomes light. It does not take strength to be the Light because that's our nature. It only takes being. So wherever I am there it is. So I can relax.

As a result of that episode I understood that I cannot be myself. I will be punished for being myself. But I did not understand how I should be.

I understood that it's bad to be myself and I was trying on all these different personas on, trying to find the persona that would fit in and comply and appease everyone. And attract, and, be successful, and gain popularity. But that takes a lot of energy and it's just never going to be fulfilling.

It will never feel right.

And the only way to feel right is to be myself, my own Light. And for that, I need to relax and stop trying, stop trying to find the most compelling mold to mold myself by, the most trendy or most resonating.

So stop trying to fall asleep during the nap time.

In other words, just be, and see what that wants to do. And how that transpires and how that wants to act.

CL: Good. How does that feel to you? Does it resonate with you? Gosh, it's amazing how our, our world hasn't been teaching that lesson for so many eons, but here is our great opportunity. The anxiety has been pushing you to know that in every cell of your body, and now you can thank it and let it go and say, you know what? I don't need that lesson anymore, but if I feel anxiety anymore in the future, then I'll use it as a temple bell reminding me, Oh, just be myself.

Until I don't need any anxiety to know to be myself that is as autonomic as breathing. So thank your teacher and guide and send him loving energy back to little Elena. And thank her for coming today to show you that part of yourself that was so wanting to be integrated.

Thank those teachers who did their job at the time, from what they knew, even though it was imperfect somehow in some strange way, there was a perfection to it just as right now, even though we carry a wound here or there, we also carry many gifts. And all of that is perfect because we are becoming more and more from our higher self, these anxieties or feelings of not being worthy. They're like the hard rock that surrounds the diamond and we're chipping away at that rock. So we can let the light of the diamond shine. So imagine that the diamond now is cut away from the rock and all the facets create a beautiful pattern, like a princess cut diamond, which is one of the most faceted of diamond cuts And light hits the diamond. And you see the refraction of a light sparkling filling up a room. And you know, that that diamond is here. You're letting your light shine To be you as only you can be. And by being you, you now help those children in Ghana or anywhere else be who they are supposed to be. The light beings that we all are.

And so we can enjoy. We can sing and dance and no matter whether it's sunny or rainy, we can accept all that is happening in our lives because it does not make us less than who we are. So now it is time to return back to this room, having thanked the teacher, little Elena, the other teachers, the other students, all beings for the parts they play in our lives.

And now you can hold that in your hand and in your heart, and you might even touch it into your heart to anchor it even more. And with one hand on your heart, now touch the other hand to your stomach area And anchor that loving energy to allow it to dissipate any anxiety that you have felt before.

And you might even affirm to yourself, even though I felt anxiety, I now love and accept myself completely. Now, as I count to five, begin by focusing on your breath, breathing that loving energy, that empowered energy, that joyful energy into your body. One, as I counted to feel yourself moving forward now with renewed joy. Two, thank yourself for coming into this lifetime to be you As only you can be. And as I count to three honor, the light within yourself three.

And as I count to four That you bring to this world for, And as I count to five embody the power, full energy of joy and love As you open your eyes and become fully present.