You shall not make for yourself and idol Exodus 20:4

12 century A.D.

A man is forging a sword in a dark cave. He is very concentrated on his work. Nothing else exists in the moment. His chest bare, the black sweat is running down his torso. He has dark longish hair and a thick beard. He is meditating on his weapon, as if meaning to put his heart and soul into it.

The man at work is a warrior monk, known as a knight templar. What was not known [outside the order] is that they were much more than monks or warriors. They were spiritual masters, who conquered unbelievable heights of consciousness, mastered their minds through inhumane discipline and devotion. They were spiritual ninjas who were educated in ancient wisdom and occultism, calligraphy, all known spiritual practices about invisible realms. They fought with their swords and fists, but they also fought invisible battles, predetermining the outcomes of physical events.

The monk, whose name was Joshua, was admitted to the order as a newborn orphan baby. In reality, his father was one of the leaders of the Order. The Order deemed it necessary that that leader passed on his DNA to reinforce the future generations of the Order leadership. But it was kept secret, and Joshua was never told about his identity, nor given any preferential treatment. His father did not show any fatherly feelings toward him either, so he was unsuspecting. If anything, he was stretched and pushed beyond limit.

Joshua, a very gifted kid, was initiated as a toddler, a rare occurrence. As a rule the kids were initiated prior to entering puberty. The many rounds of initiation meant excruciating rituals, essentially torture, meant to strengthen the spirit and solidify the boy's dedication to the Order. The purpose was to produce highly trained zombie assassins, unconditionally dedicated to the Order.

The initiates surrendered their hearts and minds to the Order. They gave up their free will and their very ability to love [anything besides the Order]. They were not tricked into it - no, not at all - it had to be initiates' own willful decision to surrender their everything to serve the Order.

The Order was to become their mind, heart, and god. It was believed that only this level of merging could produce the powerforce necessary to fulfill the Order's mission. The Order's mission was to preserve the sacred knowledge and the sacred power of God.

Joshua saw his initiations float in front of his eyes: the calligraphy - he was a master calligraphist who could install "magical" healing energy into the symbols he created to treat his brothers in between the initiations. He remembered the water trials - the hours upon hours sitting strangled in a cave under a drop of water monotonously dropping on the tip of his nose or the crown of his head to build stamina. The kundalini energy rituals, when brothers would awaken the spirit of kundalini in an initiate by stimulating his penis and anus so that he would access the vital energy of the Source. The plant medicine ceremonies, in which they learned from the intelligence of the plants. The witchcraft and what is called white and black magic - there was nothing outside of Joshua's interest. Nothing his spirit could not handle, master, or rise up to. He spent his entire life training and raising his consciousness to serve the Order to the best of his abilities. He was a devout servant of the only parent he knew, the Order.

Joshua served the Order by engineering and executing missions that the Order gave him. Sometimes it was to get secret knowledge from the enemy, and most times it was to get more power, i.e. gold and jewels. Joshua excelled at it. He always exceeded expectations on how much gold and jewels he brought. The Order was satisfied. He was a favorite brother. A perfect zombie.

Joshua dedicated his days to his spiritual practice and his missions, all of which he birthed and executed in the invisible realms first - his secret weapon. That's what made the physical outcome of his missions predetermined. He never questioned the Order's methods, nor did he cringe at the human life toll. The toll was the cost of preserving the sacred knowledge, the Order's mission, his mission.

Once while on a mission, shortly after he turned 40, Joshua encountered a local girl, with dark hair and dark eyes, she was young, scared, and infidel, so her life was dispensable. He saw thousands of those. But for some inconceivable reason this time around he made an effort to save the girl's life. He took her on his horse and let her out to safety never to see her again. But from that moment on, something bizarre started to happen in his psyche.

Naturally, Joshua would never break his vow of celibacy or deviate from his mission. It was one of the sources of his formidable power. But he started to visit her in the invisible realms. It was as if he couldn't resist it. As if in that moment when his eyes met hers, the giant and secure lock on his heart broke. The heart that he dedicated to the Order.

His mind followed. He looked around and saw his brothers as savages destroying civilizations - all in the name of some sacred mission. Weren't those lives sacred? Why was the price humanity was paying for the Order's dominance never given a consideration? He looked at himself and saw himself drown in the blood of the innocent people he sacrificed in his service to the Order. He saw coffers upon coffers filled with gold, precious stones, and jewelry that he delivered to the Order over the years. "I am a monster"- a lightbulb went up in his head.

It was as if a perfect zombie was suddenly waking up, getting a mind of his own.

Joshua knew what he had to do.

***

He was forging his sword in a cave in the middle of the night, preparing for his last mission. At twilight he did his usual morning rituals, and summoned his spirit guides to bear witness. He sat on his knees, the sword next to him, and said the prayer to assure the success of his mission.

Joshua ceremoniously rose up, fixed the handle of the sword in between the stones and pushed himself on it all the way through. The sword entered his body right in the solar plexus. This was to allow himself the time to make sure that the wound was fatal. Once assured that the mission was a success, he drew his last breath.

The devout servant of the Order Joshua understood that he was awakened, he was a threat to the Order and had to be liquidated. Even after he was no longer under the spell of the Order, it looked like his loyalty remained intact. Or was it an in-built self-liquidation mechanism, one of the many inserted in his psyche during his initiations? The thought had crossed his mind, but that's not why he was killing himself anyway.